Celebrating the Gift of Friendship Within Motherhood

BY EMILY TELLVIK & MEGAN VANSTONE

Motherhood was never a question for us. Both Megan and I knew we wanted children, that we were made to be mamas, and that we love centering our world around home and family—most days. But what we weren’t prepared for, and what I think no one can truly be 100 percent prepared for, is how much motherhood changes you.

No matter what stage or age your children are at, from newborn to teenager, there is sure to come a moment in every mother’s journey where they look at their child and think, “I do not know what to do right now.”

I don’t know how to stop this baby’s crying, I don’t know how much Tylenol to give for a teether, why won’t this kiddo potty train, why is my kid a biter, does my tweenage daughter need antidepressants/therapy/electric shock treatment/boarding-school…or are these sorts of regular hysterics normal? I could fill this article with the never-ending questions that we mommas confront. Of course, in our information-overloaded world, you can Google just about anything or find a thousand books on every subject to help you find an answer if the not the answer.

Diamonds Other Moms are a Girl’s Best Friend

Nothing though can replace your mom squad, the bonus moms in your children’s lives, those women with whom you go through life shoulder to shoulder, raising up your babies together. 

The gals that come see your newborn first thing, bring you meals when you’re just home from the hospital, and hold your baby for a few minutes so you can take a shower or a nap or finally get a haircut. These are the ladies that have kiddos a few steps ahead of yours. The ones you call in the middle of the night when your baby gets sick for the first time and the numbers on the thermometer seem scary. They lend advice on preschools, structuring the morning routine before school as kids grow up, and how to navigate creative discipline when what you’re doing isn’t working.

They’re the mommas who can sense when you need a mocha or a margarita and always show up with the right one at the right time. These valued friends offer grace and guidance, Kleenex and confetti, pizza, and will even save your spot at Pilates when you’re running late!

Megan and I are grateful that we’re these sorts of friends for each other, and for the rich network of friend we get to walk with through the journey of motherhood. Friendships take energy, effort, and investment, and the best friendship advice I have is to be the sort of friend you desire to have. Whatever you give out really does come back to you ten-fold.

Treat Yourself to Brunch

This Mother’s Day, why not throw a special brunch, cocktail hour, or coffee date honoring those friends whose friendships not only impact your life, but also the lives of your children. Put some extra effort in, iron the linens, set a pretty table, make or purchase some beautiful food, and buy all the flowers.

Take the time to write them a heartfelt note, and maybe purchase a small gift that is a reflection of the special place they hold in your life and your heart. Take the time to prep in advance so you can welcome them in with hugs and joy, and so you are not too frenzied. Once you get everyone around your table, pour yourself a glass of champagne and pull up a seat. For while you’ve created a beautiful moment to focus on these special gals, you’ve actually given yourself a total gift as well, time with the people you love.

Happy Mother’s Day.

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